Cheeks

This has been a rough past two weeks. One weekend I was in the hospital and the next, Kyle's face was unrecognizable after his wisom teeth were ripped out by a Dentist using nothing but novacane for his SEVERLY impacted teeth. I have had such a hard time with the face thing because...I miss it. Is that wrong or sick or something? I love him just the same, but I miss kissing him and being able to hold his face in my hands when I'm talking to him. Here is my MOST FAVORITE and LEASTE FAVORITE pictures of Kyle. For obvious reasons, the poor thing.


This is my favorite picture of Kyle. I took it the first week we were dating. He was humoring me by holding still long enough and it turned out to be the best one.



Here is my leaste favorite picture. He took this the second day he was home from getting his teeth out. His cheeks felt like they were filled with acorns, all hard and very hot like they had fevers in them. The swelling is going down now and today is the first day I saw his cheek bones. Here comes a new weekend...it's looking pretty bright!

Strange Friday

Yester day I skipped school. My first class is pretty skip-able, my second class was not in session because we have an online test and my third class I was going to have to miss anyway due to a Dr. appointment. Sooo I spend to morning wih Kyle because he finished his 8AM test in 6 minutes then high-tailed it over here for 4 hours of chillin before his next class. Then he came over after his other class to say goodbye. He drove 3 hours north to Savannah to get his wisdom teeth taken out by his Step-mom's dad. He owns his own practice and does his family's teeth for free if they're willing to drive up.

Kyle was very proud of his SEVERLY impacted wisdom teeth. He said, "My dentist said I have the deepest roots he's seen in 30 years!" I was very worried because this step-grandpa is not an oral surgeon which means there would be no anestesia...just morphine and novacain. Plus I have only gone two days without seeing Kyle since...forever so today is strange to say the least. He doesn't get any service up in the middle of nowhere so all I get are random texts including a gruesome picture of his swelled up face and "My jaw hurts. That last one didn't come out easy." yuck! So hopefully he'll come home tomorrow.

Tonight we're doing mom's birthday at Grandma's. They are making me a special dish since I can't have most of the stuff mom wants. (Goolash and Pumpkin Pie) I can't have any seedy veggies or anything raw including fruit and veggies. (especially tomatoes) so I will probably have...bread. I have lost almost ten pounds from this jello/sprite/bread diet. I should patent it. (JK the liquid diet was the pits!)

I have an online test as I mentioned...and you would think since it's online I can use the book and ace it, riiiiight? Wrong. I took the first section of it last night after about 3 hours of studying and BOMBED it. It was timed, 35 minutes for 22 questions and I blew it. American history before WWII is so boring to me. I don't care about...Cabeza De La Casas and Pocahontas' affair with John Rolfe (My teacher curses disney whenever we talk about her).

PS-last night I had a wedding dream. (thanks to the office and the magazine mom bought me when I was in the hospital which i looked at until i fell asleep) It was in our church in Japan and I was sitting in the side aisle crying because dad wouldn't play the song I wanted to walk down the aisle to. I called him a meany when he said "in ten years this won't matter!" I guess that's true...that's what I was thinking when Pam's veil ripped. oooh and I loved the dancing wedding. so fun!

Weekend wrap-up-Warning, unless your last name used to be Marsh, you may find this oddly boring and strangely touching. Sisters, read on.

Friday was the morning from down under (not the one with kangaroos and dingo babies). 4:30 am...wake up having a nightmare about the paper I have due monday. In my dream, no one will listen to me when I say I have a stomach ache and they all just keep yelling about how we're all going to fail this paper. When I wake up everything's real except the people. I AM freaking out about the paper and my stomach is KILLING me. I lay in bed, go to the bathroom then decide to lay on the bathroom floor moaning with a heating pad on. After an hour and a half I crawl into mom's room (my word she's a deep sleeper!) I cry and cry and she gives me pills that make me feel better by 7:30. I watch 20 minutes of a disney movie then go back to sleep til noon. Then the fun happens. I notice blood where it shouldn't be. I am calm and go to webmd.com where I am made less calm when it tells me to put down the darn computer and get to the hospital. I wait until 8pm when mom and dad are at a football game with friends and I see MORE blood. I leave it there so mom can look and call her crying. She and dad race home and find me in a ball on my floor. (I had been looking for my wallet under my bed and couldnt get up). Mom checks the blood and says "omygoshomygoshomygosh" amidst my cries and dad's silent preparations. With backpacks in tow we drove to the hostpital. I couldn't believe how alone I felt without Kyle. He was in Orlando spending the weekend with his dad. He called when we were on the way and I told him and he came straight over. By the time he got to the hospital I had a bed in the ER and was about to be checked. The pain was AWFUL. I have never felt this way. I cried when anyone touched me. Mom, Dad and Kyle took turns because only two people were allowed in the room with me at a time. Kyle was always there and it was just mom and dad switching. By 1am I had a catscan and an IV and some pretty good drugs. I was very talkative and boisterous. Dad seemed very confused and Kyle and mom just laughed at me. I distinctly remember playing with Kyle's nose, but that's all the detail.

Saturday: We'll switch days now even Friday is not technically over. By 5am, mom and dad went home and Kyle and I were shown up to the room. (actually i dont remember going to the room). We slept about 2 hours each and watched movies and napped all day. His grandma came to visit bringing me books. Mom brought me like, 10 magazines and a glowing pumpkin to decorate my room. It was so nice having sweet Kyle at arms' length all the time. For 72 straight hours he was telling me I was beautiful and kissing my super pale cheeks and bought me flowers. When he walked in with the flowers I thought he was just going down to the car. The instant he walked in with a big smile on his face proudly holding out the flowers I said, "I need to puke!" And to that he said, "aww, poor baby...look what I..." I interrupted, "GIVE ME THAT TRASH CAN!" I promise I thanked him later :)

Sunday: Sunday was better. Kyle and I went to be around 11 and slept straight until 6 with no interruptions. Then we slept between nurses until 930. His grandma and aunt came again and everyone stared at me for a good 15 minutes before (thank God) they left and I was not being gauked at. They said I could go home since there was no more blood but if I wanted, I could stay. Honestly, I should have stayed. I was getting this wonderful pain medicine that knocked me out and made me loopy and here at home it is far more painful. Plus with food in front of me it's harder to maintain my sanity. I cried when mom brought home friend chicken for dad and Kyle. Cried. That's the actual correct spelling for pathetic.

I learned a lot about love this weekend. Mom and Dad were so worried I could FEEL it. Kyle never grimmaced when doctors were talking about stuff I would have rather NEVER told him. But love is more than butterflies and expensive dates. He held back my piggy tales when I was puking up potassium and brushed my hair after I washed it out. He let me take this picture of him with these glasses I found at work and had in my purse. When we got home he told me I smelled like hospital and let me sneak a mike&ike candy when mom wasn't looking, as long as I promised to just enjoy the flavor and promptly spit it out, which I did. Tomorrow, more drugs, doctors and...disney movies when I get home? yes. Sorry this is so freakishly long. The phone is not my friend this weekend. So I will tell you now.

You know it's a good weekend when...

Like all good things, this weekend has come to an end. In ten minutes it will be Monday. I will check my school e-mail account, check my grades for the classes I don't like and study for a test I would just as soon not take, if given the choice.

However, looking back, I knew this moment would come. Like today, when Kyle tried to talk to me about school and some test or whatever...I said, "shhh, it's still the weekend for 9 more hours." I win.

Friday did not count as a weekend. I had from the time I wok up until midnight to write a 4.5 page essay on how native americans were affected by colonization and how europeans were affected as well....wake up, I promise not to mention school work anymore. I finished it by ten, not before taking a two hour break to make dinner (pizza rolls and mozarella sticks) for Kyle and I and played with my cabbage patch dolls.

Saturday I ran a bunch of errands for mother...namley mailing an ungodly surplus of packages to Abilene, TX. I looked like some cartoon character at christmas time. Five boxes stacked, teatering as I made my way into the post office. Post offce workers, I have gathered, are the rudest more begrudging people. eck.Took a nap and when Kyle tried to wake me up I rolled over and elbowed him in the eye. He then took a picture which makes it look terribly awful and wayyy worse than it acutally was. It is fine today.

I then spent the day with Kyle until I had to work at 6. He took my car home and detailed it (inside and out!) then returned it to me saying, "sorry if the headlights are still a little foggy, I'll fix them tomorrow." Pah, what a sweet!

Good money at work, however I could not sleep due to lack of company in spacious/creeky house. I was up until four and awoken at 8:30 by hungry lab. I was not perturbed, however. I went back to sleep and woke up for church with Kyle then a long day of beach, The Office Season 1 and Taken. (the very first and only movie that Kyle and I have every fully watched outside of movie theaters.) Grossly dissapointed in the ending. How Kim was all, "thanks for saving me from human trafficing, dad, I'll call ya later! Oh, hey mom, sweet one-shoulder sweater-blouse! Isn't the same one you were wearing the day you sent me off to my drug-indused doom?"

You know it's a good weekend when...you cry when it's over.

Top Ten Tuesday

There are times when reverting back to childhood sounds all too tempting. When stress is getting the best of us, we like to remember the simplicity of childhood. Here are the top ten things I would rather be doing.
10. Watching Arthur. That silly Aardvark taught me how to spell "aardvark" and kept me entertained after school for years. HERE it is for you forgetful or too old ones.
9. Eating baked goods. I always had some kind of cookies or cake after school to ease the pain of third grade spelling or fifth grade arithmatic.
8. Arranging my stuffed animals. I often came home to a perfectly clean room. (thanks to homeschooled-holly and her boredom) Some of my greatest memories are of coming home and mom and holly had painted my bedroom or the time they set up my very own desk or bought me a new comforter. I would then spend extra time arranging my toys perfectly in their new habitat.
7. Riding my bike. I loved playing outside in the cool fall air in Nebraska in the evenings...then coming inside to watch #6.
6. Watching Fresh Prince. This was a pre-dinner tradition. All three of us girls loved it and Leah and I would practice reciting (spittin') the theme song.
5. Packing my lunch in my Winnie the Pooh lunchbox. I loved packing myself a delicious medley of peanutbutter sandwich with homemade cookies, a thermos full of kool-aid and maybe some yummy fruit snacks. And sometime mom would write me napkin love notes. ahhh, those were the days.
4. Having my hair done each morning. Every morning Holly and I would pick out our bows and barrettes from "the bucket" and line up for hair duty. I often opted for the two braids and Holly often loved the "poof bang" look.
3. The bell. As a kid there were only two bells. Beginning of the day, and end of the day. And I always got so excited at the end of the day. Mom would be waiting outside in the Plymouth and Holly and I would meet and walk back together in our matching blue and pink spring jackets or our hornets winter coats. (bleck)
2. Taking Baths. Ahhhh, I took baths and only baths until I was 11. Now a bath is like, weird and random and only when I'm sick or depressed. And I ALWAYS take a shower first.
1. Watching the disney channel. I could spend all evening watch Disney Channel Original movies and I always looked forward to the Friday night premiers.

Overall, I think I will definately have to take part in some good old fashioned cookie-eating and reminiscing with Holly when I get home.

Top Ten Tuesday

It is only 11:09 am and I already can think of 10 things that I have melted down about today. Whenever I have a melt-down, I hone in on certain aspects of myself that are just utterly abomanable and come to near tears over them. In my most recent (10 mintues ago) meltdown over the fact that I forgot my transcripts in my car, I then poured out my self-pity sorrow on the nearest ear.
10. My weight. "Not only am I a forgetful whore, I look fat and frumpy today in my maternity shirt."
9. My face. "I am so forgetful that I fogot to bring makeup to school, now I am sweaty and melting and look afright."
8. My sleep. "Now I will never be able to sleep more than 6 hours a night because I will be so busy remembering not to FORGET anything else."
7. My overall intelligence. "I am so dense. I cannot believe how stupid I am in forgetting those transcripts. I will fail college undoubtedly."
6. My relationships. "I am sorry that I am such a weirdo complainer and I understand if you would rather ignore me for the rest of the day."
5. My sanity. "Maybe I should go to therapy this week. I think I am falling apart."
4. My future. "Today is not just any Tuesday. It is the Tuesday that could ruin my future if I dont get my act together and start being a better student."
3. My commitments. "I might have to quit college because my hair is going to start falling out."
~3a. My hair. "Not only am I as forgetful as one, I have the hair like one. I was running out of hairspray this morning and now I am a frizz!"
2. My grades. "My grades are going to suffer because I am too stressed to study so now I must blog."
1. My Precipitation. "I have to calm down now or am I going to start sweating. And if I start sweating then I will look disgusting and smell. Now I might cry. I have to get off the phone now or I might start crying."

Meltdowns are a common but rare side effect of journalism school and you should not take them if you are pregnant or may become pregnant. Common side effects include crying, whining, pity parties and self-loathing.

I am fine now. Plus I took this funny picture in the library moments ago, in honor of The Office starting on Thursday.

THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID

Not Me Monday

Today is Monday.
I did NOT do a lot of things.

I did not eat an extra bowl of cocoa pebbles with the reasoning, "I am sad because the weekend is over and I hate Monday." More generic cocoa pebbles for me!( i think these are called chocoalate gravel or something unimaginative).

I did not waste 15 minutes this morning trying to take the perfect picture of my hairdo.

I did night drive 20 minutes in the opposite direction of school to go visit Kyle at BCC for 15 minutes.

I did not have a serious self-debate about wether or not I should entitle my newspaper article about parking lot f, "WTF"

I did not seriously consider skipping the gym. To which my man did not argue that I should just wait until tomorrow. To which I then did NOT win the arguement with, "either I cook you dinner tomorrow or go to the gym tomorrow. Pick"

I did not NOT wear deoderant to the gym then make myself leave early because I was NOT afraid that I smelled.

Some Texan is NOT reading over my shoulder and is definately NOT repulsed by that last one.

I did not beg Kyle to plug the camera in to this archaic computer so I could post a picture. The USB port is not in the far back of the computer. He did not do a lovely Aussie Crocodile hunter accent as he burrowed underneath the desk.


I do not think I love him.