Things You Should Know

For the past 3 weeks I have been working every day but Sunday. It really takes a toll on your people skills when you're in the same place 6 days a week and it gets you thinking about things you wish you could tell your customers. I know a few (okay, most) of these things will seem nit-picky, but what else do I have to do 6 days a week if not nit-pick. I cetainly refuse to enjoy myself. Ha, just kidding. But here we go.

Don't grab the plate out of my hand unless you can see that I am handing it to you because I can't reach you. So rude. I am presenting you with your meal, not passing out an exam. It's not a race to see who can get started first.

Don't let your kid draw on the table with crayons. Realize that the next person who sits down will ask me to come over and clean the table twice before they finally believe me that it is crayon and it will not come off without chemicals.

Please don't repeat someone's order as if I didn't hear them. I heard them, let them do the talking. Yesterday I waited on a grandmother and a grandson who must have been 17. He said, "I'll have the frisco melt with fries." Grandma says, "He'll have the frisco melt with fries." Yeah, I got that.

Please don't try and be my buddy by saying, "Oh how rude of that lady to tip you in change," then leave me two bucks. That old lady tipped me in change but it added up to $4.48. More than you were willing to give.

If you're over the age of 11, we hate singing happy birthday to you more than you hate being sung to. Trust us.

Please don't make me wait to get your order because you're "busy" putting your child's cardboard cars together. Cardboard isn't worth waiting for. Oh and your kid will NEVER remember to take that stupid car home and I will end up having to clean it up along with the stickers they decided would look better on the table than on the car.

Please don't ask to be put far away from the air conditioning vent. As if there isn't one pointed in every direction no matter where you sit. As if the building isn't cooled evenly. I am going to seat you here and tell you it's the warmest spot in the restuarant. And you'll believe me. Bring a sweater.

Please don't complain about your food if you refuse to let me fix it. I know you just want to make me feel bad. Don't pretend you really "just wanted to let me know." If you don't want a new meal or a free dessert out of the deal, don't say anything. "Hon, I asked for no cheese on my burger." "Oh, I'm sorry. I'll get a new one right our for you." "No. It's fine. I just wanted you to know."

Finally. Do not tell me I was an excellent server and that it was a pleasure meating me I look just like you granddaughter and have a great smile and make that bowtie look good and have a graceful presence...then leave a bad tip. It's sad, but servers all have one thing in common. If you're not going to tip, hold the small talk. We're here to make money.

**There are exceptions to most of these rules but it's more fun to just say the rules and make you wonder if you've every done any of these things. I know none of you have done the last one. It is far to shameful and is usually saved for old men and teenagers.

My Neicephews

Saturday morning Kyle and I walked over to Steve's Diner across the street for breakfast. We got to talking about how Gabby and Steven might be doing while missing their daddy. That lead to our whole breakfast conversation being about the kids--my neicephews. (neice + nephews) I brought up the time that I came to visit Leah and she had promised to take Steven bowling, but the bowling alley had been closed, or my flight had come in early so they couldn't go. So that whole day he had been wearing his bowling shirt and was so excited and kept asking when we were going bowling and pointing to the little ball and pin on his shirt and he was just so cute and concerned about bowling. It made me miss all the kids so much that Kyle asked me if I was about to cry. I guess my eyes were burning a little. But I didn't cry and we ate and had a good talk but then I found out that mom and dad were going to visit and it made me so sad. I know I just saw the whole family and it was awesome but it really wasn't the same and I wasn't sure exactly why. Then I realized it's always been just me when I visit my sisters. When Nolan was 6 weeks and I went to visit, I hardly put him down except when he ate and it was the same way when Jack was 6 weeks and I went to visit. There were so many people in the house around the wedding time and I still feel like I regret being so frazzled that weekend because I didn't get to give them baths or play with Gab's hair or take goofy pictures and do all of the things I usually get to do. I love different things about each one of them and I miss my family so much. I'm so thankful, even when I'm sad. I would rather be sad with my heart full than be happy and have nothing to love and look forward to.

Do you know what this class is about?

Summer classes started on Monday. A year ago this week I walked into a classroom and sat behind Kyle and we checked each other out but wouldn't speak until the last day of class. Anywho--I'm taking Spanish at BCC and an online class through UCF. The online hell--oh, gosh I meant to say class-- is called Theory and Tech of Literary Criticism. What does that mean to you? I asked mom and she said, "Learning the theory of literary critics? Am I right?" To which I replied, "How should I know? I was asking you!" So I must go off of the assignments we are given. So far I have read 20 pages by Plato on why art is just imitation. What I took away from it was a horse knows all about a bit, because it's in his mouth. The maker of the bit only knows how to make it, and the artists who paint horses with bits in their mouths are the furthest from the real knowledge--which is embodied in the horse. Get it? Here's another way Plato said it. A flute player knows how the flute is supposed to feel on his lips, and if it's all wrong, he'll tell the flute maker to do this or that to make it better. The artist painting a picture of the flute player is an IMIATATOR of true knowledge, because he doesn't know how to make a flute and he definately doesn't know how to play one. Today from Artistotle I learned that the best way to make a tragedy is to have pitiable situation happen to people who are half way between good and bad and have terrible things happen to them that are in no way their fault. Wow, Stot--that sounds truly tragic. So what I'm saying is I have no idea what this class is really about. My favorite part of the class so far is the guy who sent a mass email to everyone in the class. "Can anyone help me? Tell me where to get the text book? What are the subjects of our assignments? What is this class about? Help." I feel you, man. I almost wrote back to him but I thought, odds are this whole class is like the blind leading the blind. I cannot believe I have written 9 pages on Aristotle and still had the energy to blab incessently in my lame attempt to let you know how I feel. Moment of reflection over--to bed to think myself to sleep.

My Husband is Funny

My husband. He has always been pretty funny and cute. But lately, I am pretty surprised by the funny things he says and does. One day I asked what had gotten into him. "Why are you doing this goofy voice? I have never heard you be so silly before!" I was surprised by his reply. "I guess now that we're married I just know you're not going to judge me anymore so I can be myself." Well if this is yourself then that's okay with me. So yesterday morning, Kyle, my earlybird hubby, woke up at 5:30 for work and I peered out from under the covers to see what he was doing. He was using his cell phone as a flashlight (a poor one at that) to find his work clothes in the closet. So I sat up and told him he could turn the light on, I wasn't sleeping anymore. But he just kept looking with the tiny little cell phone light. So I turned on our bedside lamp and the room lit up, letting me see little Stoney helping Kyle look for his clothes, and I saw Kyle freeze up and grab Stoney. "Quick, we've been discovered! Take cover!" He yelled and ran into the bathroom. I laughed so hard! Kyle is also known for being a little clumsy sometimes, like any of us. But the other night we were walking out of our movie theater and the long dark channel leading to the hallway, you know, movie theaters always have carpeted walls once you get into the screening room. So Kyle was walking very fast and nerdy to make me laugh and hit his shoulder really hard against the carpet wall. Instead of just laughing at himself, he bustted his chest up against the wall and pushed against it like it was a person and he yelled, "You got beef? You wanna go?" I ran up to him and grabbed his arm laughing but he was still in character. He shook me off and said "Jerk, did you see that guy back there? I should've knocked him out." I think I laughed more in the parking lot than in the whole movie. I love my funny husband.

Shallow thoughts

A blog is a great place to get out your deepest thoughts and get feedback. It's also a good place to share those surface-floating thoughts that you can't help but get out because you want to know if anyone else has ever thought the same thing.

Have you ever wondered what your cashier is typing away on her keyboard for when all you bought was a little something not worth much? You never wanted to lean over the counter and crane your neck to see why the heck it takes so much finger action to ring something up?


I went to Things Remembered yesterday to order an engraving on a necklace to thank Dominique, my made of honor for everything. She bought us dinner gift cards, zoo passes with special treats like Giraffe encounters and kayak adventures included (which we're using tomorrow) and she even bought us gift cards to Disney World! So I wrote down what I want the engraving to say, then I went to cash out at the register.

And have you ever seen that episode of the Simpsons where Bart calls Australia or somewhere and he is dialing the same number for about 3 minutes and eventually you can't help but laugh, like, "Are you kidding?" I wish someone had been with me to laugh.

The cashier just kept hitting the down arrow then enter. Down, enter enter enter, down down down down down, enter enter, backspace, down down down down. For like 5 minutes.

So then today I went to CVS and was astounded after all I bought were some digital prints and I was handed this reciept.



Okay, I admit. I also bought some silly bands. If you don't know what silly bands are, they seem to be a craze sweeping tweens and restuarant workers. Everyone at my work shares them and I had none! So I found these knock-off brands called Shaped Rubber Bands, but they're cowboy shaped so how could I resist?





Didn't mean to start by posing a question and end with silly bands but, I admitted this was a not-so-thought-provoking post.

Not Quite

Yesterday was like any other special Sunday. We sat in the same row in the same order as always. Dad, Mom, Kyle, Me, Mom's friend. Then we went to mom and dad's to get all the food to take to Grandma's for the Father's Day celebration. Ah, but first Dad and I started work on a project we have been planning for years. It's called The Many Do's of Sue and will pretty much be a walk through the years of Mom's hair. We made a file appropriatey called Sue's Do's and put every hair do available on mom and dad's computer in it. Then we all watched it as a slide show. It was most fun to hear Kyle's reaction to some, especially the one I call the Jim Carey.





He would say things under his breath like, "oh.no." But it was fun and dad said that the real work will begin with scanning pictures from old albums. Then we went to grandma's where uncle Jeff was an hour late and uncle Don came a half hour after that. But we enjoyed talking and all the dad's thanked their families and Kyle thanked me for not letting him be a dad yet. So I slowly rose from my chair and said, "On that note, we have an announcement." To which everyone laughed (and then I realized what a mistake that had been because all night I dreamt that I was going into labor.) So when we finally ate it was time to leave for dad's gift from Kyle and I. We took him and mom to see Toy Story 3! It was hilarious and so much fun! Dad loved it, as we knew he would. Then Kyle and I went grocery shopping and I wasn't sure how he would do because he was tired but it was so much fun. He always reads the small price labels to see how much they are charging per ounce depending on the packaging. For instance it was much smarter to buy raisins by the jar than by the little boxes. He's so cute about groceries. What a nice father's day.

Stoney

Stoney is our 8 week old kitten and he is learning so much about the things he likes and dislikes.



He likes underwear








He likes to get into strange places








This is after he hopped on the counter as I was scooping myself some delicious brownie trifle and I plopped some on his forhead by accident.



He hasn't quite got the bathing thing down yet. He pretty much cleaned his face for 10 minutes until I helped him out.



He likes silk flowers






Other than that, he likes cheerios in milk, the sound of food in his tin bowl and me--so far.