Wednesday, December 17, 2008

"Happy Birthday Jesus, I'm sorry your party was so lame!"-Michael Scott, Regional Manager, Dunder Mifflin Scranton Branch

So tonite is the night before I leave for Texas. I decided I couldn't wait to open the prezzies from Grandma and Grandpa "GOC" so me and mom went tearing into them. Here are a few...
Clearly I am wearing a sweatshirt addressed to mom. It reads, "Blessed to be Grandma". I stole it. And the box of brownies is clearly inexplicably large and in charge. yum.

I love to have my coffee on the go. I am a taster, and this is my choice. By the way, the pick around my neck says, "pick jesus". How catchy.

How obnoxious. Someone was just showing off. Well Mr. Hickory down at Hickory Farms sure does know how to grow em.

"Grow in the Grace"-I was planning on it, thanks. But not just any old grace. THE grace.

Three mini bottles of Avon lotion. There really is nothing funny to say about this, it is what it is.

Lather up ladies, it's gonna be a lonely night. Good thing we have Mr. Hickory Farms to keep us company. ;) ;)

Monday, December 15, 2008


Tomorrow is my final final. The finale. It is the most dreaded one of all, Algebra. I am so overcome with nerves that I am afraid to study. (Hence the blogging). Yesterday I hung out with my best girlfriend who was home from college for Christmas and it was awesome. I bought a pair of extremely brigh DC shoes from the men's section of journies and I think my street cred. went up at least 25%. I am cool. But this post is really about one thing and one thing only. And that is inflatable lawn ornaments. A redneck's answer to prayers. "All I gotta do is plop it in my yard and plug it in? Sweet!" Awful. As I went to pick up Heather from her house yesterday I realized that there was an uninflated inflatable ornament in her yard. I mentioned it but she quickly silenced me after breifly explaining that her mom had bought it at a garage sale and that it was a touchy subject with her. BAHAHAHAHAHA! Here is a replica of the one her mom bought...and the rest are ones I saw on the way home from her house.

This is the creepiest one. It seems wrong when I look at it so I laugh, then I feel wrong for laughing. If only it included an inflatable confessional next to it.

Saturday, December 6, 2008

3:30 in the A.M.

How hard is it to find the computer keys in the dark? I am a fast typer without looking but I keep misplacing my hands and spelling words like this "jpwa ahard os ot"...gahh tonigt was a long night of work and I am trying to wind down. I actually read that looking at a computer screen before you go to bed can actually keep you awake. So I should probably be reading my bible. I thought tomorrow was Sunday and I got all excited because I havent been to church in 2 weeks. (which got a laugh outta my work friends). Then to spite them I sang "I got the joy down in my heart". But I bought a really cute top to wear on Sunday and it should gaurentee me a date if not a wedding proposal, so...I will end with the story of the worst people to ever set foot into the restaurant where I work, Steak n Shake. (Steak n Gay) or (Skank n Shake-By Holly Koper) They are in their fifties, wifey has her breasticles hanging out for the world to meet and hubbie demands that a rootbeer float be on the table before he sits. Wifey orders a double cheese burger, dry dry, but not hard. "I dont want leather. And dont put the cheese in the middle, make it an open faced sandwich with the cheese on top" she says. (side note: i once went to the trouble of drawing a diagram of her burger for the cook, didnt work) "I want at least 4 of the reddest tomatoes you have, and a little onion. And I wont be needing mayonase, I brought my own." She says as she pats the tiny tupperware next to her. (!) Upon delivering her meal she presses her polished finger into the center of her burger patty. "Feel that burger" she says to me. I feel it, violated in some way. Then I say "I will go cook it myself. No one knows how you like it except me,(!!)I guess." Then I go and try to explaing to Alex that she isnt just hating on his cooking skills because he is black, she hates all races of the ones who makes her burger. 7$ later they are gone and I can breathe again until the next weekend when they come in demanding their RBFLs and non-leather roadkill burgers. gah. RBFL=rootbeerfloat

Monday, December 1, 2008

Home Again

Last night I got home from Texas around 12:30 am. The cat had been quite messy with the kitty litter and I was in need of some desperate laundry duty. School went quickly today and I came straight home to clean. I picked up the dog from grandma's, vacuumed the entire house, cleaned my bathroom and the kitchen, did the dishes, threw out the kitty litter, then made lunch and watched the office until work. When I got home from work at 10:30 I took a shower with the dog because Grandma warned me that she smelled, and put a clean cover slip on her bed, gave her a bone and sent her to bed. Emmitt has been crazy. He actually jumped onto my lap while I went pee last night. He layed on the keyboard while I printed off homework last night and has not quieted down until this evening. The animals follow me around like I'm Dr. Dolittle. Nice. Here are some pics from Texas. We had a blast and I can't wait for finals to be over so I can go back!