Reflection

The duties in my life cover a giant bulletin board in my mind.

In my previous (single) life, the bulletin board was made up of school. In each corner, a different class. This class--writewritewrite. This class--study, email professor, post discussion. It was all school.

In my current life, all of the school stuff that used to pretty much make up my entire internal bulletin board is pushed to one corner. Now there is school in one corner, my husband in another, my house in the other, and then my job.

School-still important. Maybe more important because I finally acheived 4.0 status as of last semester (becuase I got two B's my freshman year and one my junior year) and I want to keep that up this semester, my last. However, it's hard to focus on school when I haven't spent any downtime with Kyle, scooped the kitty litter, packed Kyle's lunch, done the dishes, paid the online bills. There is so much more to life than school, I am realizing.

My house--Yeah, Cara, don't you mean your tiny apartment? Well, my house gives me a lot to do because I always want it to be clean and organized. If I walk in and smell something funky, I will find it and clean it until the house smells the way it should--clean. And there's no cheating with Febreeze these days. I use chemicals. I cannot get in bed unless things are in their places.

Husband--this is obvious. He works twice the hours I do and goes to school, too. He deserves someone to do the little things for him. Lay out his work clothes, pack his lunch, cook a nice dinner and now and then force him to stop talking about money and school and just sit down and watch mindless television. "Honey, go pick out one of your aciton thriller-straight-to-dvd-knock-off-of-original-that-doesn't-even-star-the-action-hero-from-the-first-movie-movies and let's watch it together and eat popcorn." He needs that and so do I sometimes. Bad Boys II... not recommended. XXX II...any action movie starring Ice Cube is an immediate "no." mm-mm, no.

Work--My job never really mattered to me as far as money because I lived at home and new if I ever got sick or had to take a sabatical, mom and dad would help with my car payment and gas money. I mean, I'm a great employee and have never done anything to get into trouble. Don't subscribe to local drama and never upset the guests. But now I work for the money. I don't turn down tables or go on breaks. I don't argue when I have late nights on the weekends because I know those are the weeks where I'll make great money. It has really become work for me and not simply a place I have to be 20 hours a week. I guess the change for me, why it's suddenly more important than before is the fact that now I am contributing to something. I'm helping and it feels good.

I just had to relfect, release some pressure building up in my mind. Now, at 1:03 a.m., I will begin my homework.