Saturday morning Kyle and I walked over to Steve's Diner across the street for breakfast. We got to talking about how Gabby and Steven might be doing while missing their daddy. That lead to our whole breakfast conversation being about the kids--my neicephews. (neice + nephews) I brought up the time that I came to visit Leah and she had promised to take Steven bowling, but the bowling alley had been closed, or my flight had come in early so they couldn't go. So that whole day he had been wearing his bowling shirt and was so excited and kept asking when we were going bowling and pointing to the little ball and pin on his shirt and he was just so cute and concerned about bowling. It made me miss all the kids so much that Kyle asked me if I was about to cry. I guess my eyes were burning a little. But I didn't cry and we ate and had a good talk but then I found out that mom and dad were going to visit and it made me so sad. I know I just saw the whole family and it was awesome but it really wasn't the same and I wasn't sure exactly why. Then I realized it's always been just me when I visit my sisters. When Nolan was 6 weeks and I went to visit, I hardly put him down except when he ate and it was the same way when Jack was 6 weeks and I went to visit. There were so many people in the house around the wedding time and I still feel like I regret being so frazzled that weekend because I didn't get to give them baths or play with Gab's hair or take goofy pictures and do all of the things I usually get to do. I love different things about each one of them and I miss my family so much. I'm so thankful, even when I'm sad. I would rather be sad with my heart full than be happy and have nothing to love and look forward to.